If the Butterfly Dreamed Me

by Eden Ariel

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about

a song about dreams and nightmares, about slipping through the cracks of reality.

"Once upon a time, I, Chuang Chou, dreamt I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly. I was conscious only of my happiness as a butterfly, unaware that I was Chou. Soon I awaked, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man.... During our dreams we do not know we are dreaming. We may even dream of interpreting a dream. Only on waking do we know it was a dream. Only after the great awakening will we realize that this is the great dream. And yet fools think they are awake, presuming to know that they are rulers or herdsmen. How dense! You and Confucius are both dreaming, and I who say you are a dream am also a dream. " - Chuang Chou, ~200 BC

lyrics

if the butterfly dreamed me


I loved you with rain and fire
I loved you and I don’t know why
I keep doing this to myself
I think I messed up myself

You only love me when you’re dreaming
How many months how many years it’s been
Since somebody loved me when I existed
Would you love me if I existed

Lights on the river promise to deliver me
From the demon in my brain
Maybe I’m the demon
Killing from within
Either way I’m nothing real
I’m burning from the inside out

Smoke pours from your mouth
Haunt me like a reverie, you can’t compete
With the gods of memory
Big bad wolves in my dreams
The made-up you is real to me
That’s the one that doesn’t let me sleep
That’s the one that drums my heartbeat

The earth wears white to its funeral
Snow on graves of beautiful flowers
For hours, I’ve been listening to the wind howl

Feeling the marks your hands left
I opened up till there was nothing left
You cannot carry my heaviness
Slow burn fading out

Smoke pours from your mouth
Haunt me like a reverie, you can’t compete
With the gods of memory
Big bad wolves in my dreams
The made-up you is real to me
That’s the one that doesn’t let me sleep
That’s the one that drums my heartbeat

I keep listening to the wind
I’m alone at night again
I think I’ve always been

Low light, candle wax
Would you give me some of myself back
Nevermind I don’t want to see it
Tell me is it black as ash

Blow me out, smoke blooms from your mouth
Haunt me like a reverie, you can’t compete
With the gods of memory
Big bad wolves in my dreams
The made-up you is real to me
That’s the one that doesn’t let me sleep
That’s the one that drums my heartbeat

I can hardly see you now
I cannot keep you out
Why you always hanging around

No, the one I needed
Oh, the flowers I’m bleeding
Never left the ground

I never loved the real you
The real me never got shot through
I could have eternally bloomed
But something got let loose

The ghosts seem solid now
I see them all around
Now the garden’s burning down

Now the garden’s burning down, smoke pours from your mouth
Haunt me like a reverie, you can’t compete
With the gods of memory
Big bad wolves in my dreams
The made-up you’s too real, it’s strangling me
That’s the one that doesn’t let me sleep
The one that drums my heartbeat

Nothing is as it seems
I saw a garden in my dreams
Now did I dream it, or did it dream me?

credits

released January 29, 2015
written / recorded / etc by eden ariel

license

all rights reserved

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about

Eden Ariel New York, New York

singer-songwriter
from new york city

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